How to Have a Healthy Sexuality?

According to SINA Press, a healthy sexual relationship between couples with satisfaction leads to a sense of security in the couple's relationship and social welfare. Having awareness along with sexual health information can help people overcome problems as one of the most common issues among couples is decreased sexual attraction and, in some cases, unhealthy sex. In fact, lack of knowledge about sexual response model in men and women often leads to such problems.

Meanwhile, Zohreh Keshavarz, Medical doctor ,PhD of Sexual and Reproductive Health, told SINA Press: "Knowing the differences between the sexual response model in men and women helps them to understand their own biology and have more reasonable expectations in sexual desire; In fact, couples should set what they expect from each other based on full awareness and based on what they know about themselves."

She added: model is a drawn form of a process. The biologically male-female sexual response model was developed by William Masters and Virginia Johnson many years ago, and includes the stages of (1) excitement, (2) plateau, (3) orgasm, and (4) resolution. According to this model, men's sexual response is simpler than women's, and women have complications in the orgasm stage. Knowing such information prevents women from being mistaken about having an orgasmic disorder; Because in situations where people think they have disorders in the orgasmic stage, they happen to be in their normal state. 

Keshavarz said: "Also, according to this model, men in the stages of excitement, and plateau are mainly affected by hormones, and everything happens in the brain; In a way, this excitement turns the brain on. In fact, the brain is stimulated by stimuli that require the secretion of hormones. Testosterone plays a key role in causing this excitement; Therefore, it can be said that men with chronic diseases have a lower secretion of testosterone and a lower level of sexual desire. Therefore, men who are reluctant to have sex should be examined and analysed."

According to her, after the mentioned stages, the desire to have sex is established in men, which then reach the stage of orgasm, and resolution and these two stages occur almost simultaneously.
Take Professional Help from the Therapist

She said: "At this stage, men who suffer from premature ejaculation, reach orgasm faster which requires early examination and treatment; Especially in young men, they should seek appropriate treatment before or at the beginning of the marriage life; In fact, if they should see a therapist to prevent future marital problems."

"After orgasm, it is the resolution phase," said Keshavarz. The model of sexual response in men ends in the subduction phase. Now it takes a few hours in young men to be able to start this cycle again; But with age, this process takes longer in the brain and later in the reproductive system.
She continued: "This is why the sexual interval is shorter in young men, but in middle age and old age, re-stimulation occurs over a longer period of time and may take weeks or even months."
Female Orgasm

Referring to the model of sexual response in women, Keshavarz said: "The female sexual response in the stage of excitement and plateau is such that the hormones estrogen and progesterone and even testosterone is secreted in the female brain and then sexual desire is created. Hormones play an important role at this stage; But in the graph of women's sexual desire, the type of sexual response is different; In fact, the stage of orgasm in women is different from men."

She added: "Orgasm occurs in the form of contractions that are felt in the vagina, anus, and pelvic floor muscles. These contractions may be different in each woman and there are different forms in terms of severity and shape of the contraction. Sometimes the form of experienced orgasm is specific to each time and person; This is where people get a little worried that they may not reach orgasm, but examining their sexual history shows that in these models the sexual response is pretty defined and they just need to learn more. Therefore, knowing our body’s sexual response helps us to better solve our mental worries and anxieties."

Orgasm Happens in the Brain

"Orgasm is a process taking place in brain and brings with it a sense of lightness, comfort, and pleasure and creates marital intimacy," Keshavarz said. Having healthy sex is very important for the strength of the relationship, family bond, and intimacy of the couple. But there are misconceptions in this regard that may disrupt the relationship.

She added: If we look at the sexual response model of men and women, it is easy to understand that the rate of arousal is faster in men than in women, people sometimes expect it to happen at the same time which is a misconception. Sometimes couples even associate this issue with the phenomenon of infertility and late pregnancy and believe that the reason they do not become pregnant is that they do not have an orgasm at the same time. 

According to Keshavarz; One of the most effective ways to prevent sexual misconduct is to talk to a sex therapist; Learning help answer our questions and concerns that lead to the gradual elimination of misconceptions. However, understanding the differences between the gender response model makes sexual relations to be healthier and preserves the dignity of individuals in the relationship.
There are always many questions in sex that should not be timed and cited in the wrong sources. Early action to address the concerns is the best solution.

Interview by: Mahtab Damirchi
Translated by: Mehdi Fallahi Panah

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